When we face a life challenge such as loss, disaster, illness, trauma, divorce, or financial ruin, we might feel stuck. Anything can make us fall down, and from that point, we can continue to fall deeper.

Or, we can get back up (when the time is right) and build new purpose and meaning.

So, what does it mean to have a purpose?

We often answer this question with a role. For example: “My purpose is to be a mother, teacher, engineer, athlete, volunteer, or lawyer.”

We might even refer to our purpose with what we do day-to-day. “My purpose is to save lives, teach children, design buildings, or start a business.”

When we define our purpose solely through external factors such as our roles, careers, possessions, or even other people, and those factors are suddenly removed from our lives, we may feel like we have lost meaning.

By recognizing that our emotions and the values we hold are found within us, we can maintain our sense of purpose and meaning, even when these external factors disappear.

Everything external can be taken away slowly or instantly.

If my purpose is to build a beautiful home and it turns to ashes in a fire, what happens to my purpose? If my purpose is to raise children and they move away to college, where is my purpose? If my purpose is my career and my income, and I lose my job, how will I have a purpose?

I am able to still maintain these values even if I lose the house, the family, and my income.

When we go through a difficult time, a tragedy, a trauma…that is often when we lose sight of our purpose. A time when our roles, predictability, safety, stability (the very things we believe define us) can just go away, disappear. Of course we can be left feeling empty, helpless, alone, hopeless, depressed, anxious. Which is why we need a deeper meaning and definition of our purpose!

With the right tools, we can see how our core values line up with the nuggets of wisdom and meaning that this painful experience gave us. And then the purpose and meaning of our pain becomes clear.

We build our purpose with the building blocks of our values.

So what do you value? Is it freedom, safety, joy, adventure, connection, beauty, energy, wisdom, kindness, abundance?

We find these values are in us. We can all seek meaning and purpose in our lives in spite of our challenges.

What if we harness these very challenges to construct a purpose that would have never been possible otherwise?

We are the architects of our purpose, capable of rebuilding it over and over.